I initially thought I wouldn’t share this personal news with my followers, but as I started thinking about, it I realized that you all have become a part of my extended family and as i’m already an open book, I may as well not stop now.
So, I have recently received the heartbreaking news that my beloved Father, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It’s been overwhelming for me to handle. Every day is a new shade of grey with a new set of emotions to tackle..But I am SO blessed with the most loving family & most incredible mom who are all fighting to bring him back to health despite the odds. Nothing but a miracle, but I believe in miracles and the power of God, Love, the strength of the human spirit and the incredible gifts that nature and research has provided us for healing.
I have now joined the cancer community and even after 2 wks of endless research, hours and hours of reading testimonials, hearing unbelievable recovery stories etc, I’m committed to being a part of this network and doing whatever I can to share in this struggle with my dad and everyone affected by this horrific disease.
Somehow, I have also been finding myself impressed with a profound amount of gratitude for the things great and small that i’ve so often taken for granted. I’ve spent a lot of time, over the last few years especially, fighting off the moans of creative frustration, HEARTBREAK, depression, anxiety, day to day dramas, music business nonsense, and whatever else can be fueled by too much attention and spiritual unrest. BUT, as I sit here now in an impending darkness far greater than all those emotions combined, I’m humbled by defeat and forced to open my eyes and heart. For every moment that I have hope and health and love and family and friends and air and lights, food, bottled fucking water, rain on my window, a bed, a record deal, a band, songs, a voice, 10 fingers 10 toes, hands, strength and music and art and WILL and beautiful people who actually listen to what I make, for every glimmer of everything and so much more….I am truly THANKFUL. You just never know when something could be taken away.
Please keep my precious Dad in your thoughts and prayers. He is the purest, kindest and most honorable human being I’ve ever known. Somehow I got lucky enough to be his daughter.
candle lit for him at Notre Dame. thank you Thomas :) http://www.klovermode.blogspot.com/